Some would say watching the English play (or try to play) cricket is humor enough, but of course in this day and age it doesn’t take long for the English Cricket jokes to be doing the email rounds. If you haven’t been sent them yet, here are some that hit my email today:
Q. What do Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common?
A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason.
Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. An English batsman applying sunscreen.
Q. What does Ashley Giles put in his hands to make sure the next ball almost always takes a wicket?
A. A bat.
Q. What would Glen McGrath be if he was an Englishman?
A. An allrounder.
Q. What advantage do Kevin Pieterson, Andrew Strauss and Geraint Jones have over the rest of their team-mates?
A. At least they can say they’re not really English.
Q. What is the English version of a hat-trick?
A. Three runs in three balls.
Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name?
A. A bowler.
Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English batsmen?
A. The walk back to the pavilion.
Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad?
A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.
Q. Why is Andrew Flintoff the unluckiest English player?
A. Because he was born in England.
Q. What does "Ashes" stand for?
A. Another Sad Horrific English Series.
Q. What’s the English version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.
Q. Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the English team?
A. The person who ironed the cricket whites.
P.S: Well, I had to put this here. Too many expectations from these Ashes, I did waste a lot of time watching it.. and then readin' about it and brooding over it. Damn, it was so pathetic. And yeah, a word of sympathy for the likes of Star Network, which finally did manage to show some international cricket, but what the heck - they must be kickin' themselves for taking the rights for Ashes.. (after the disastrous SA tour by the Indians). Hard Luck..